Glamour (October 2004)

Geri Halliwell bounces down from the recording studio where she's been finishing her new album, her little shih-tzu dog, Harry trots alongside her.

"I've written three new songs this week!" she decalres, singing the chorus of one of them loudly before taking me into the control room to hear some more. It's bumptious, high-energy pop and she dances while it's playing, trying not to look too closely at my reaction. Which is for the best, since Harry is licking the ticklish spot on my ankle and I'm struggling to decide which is least rude: kicking her small dog off or appearing to laugh at her music.

"I've interviewed Geri a few times, and it's no suprise that she's in such an up mood today. She's always enjoyed being in the studio. "Pop is in my blood," she enthuses, adding that she always makes her music with women in mind.

"This is an album I'd love to listen to while I'm getting ready to go out." But later, as we chat outside in the studio garden, I realize she's changed a lot in three years since we last met. She's calmer and more confident, no longer needy and eager to please. She's also quit smoking and had nodules on her vocal chords removed earlier this year, which accounts for the huskier voice and throaty chuckle that could be the dirtiest laugh I've ever heard.

Now 32, it seems Geri is finally comfortable with herself. "When I hit 30, I stopped trying to control things. I'm more accepting. I stopped trying to be perfect; that's the big difference. It was so black and white with me. It was either full-throttle or nothing. Everything was fantastic or everything was shit. Now I realize that life is a bit of both.

She's been in London a few months, but when the album's finished she'll head back to Los Angeles. It's clear she now considers L.A. home. "I have a lot of anonymity there. Celebrity is ten a penny. Besides," she laughs, "the weather's beautiful, and they have valet parking." She tells me her house is pretty and very private, tucked away in the Hollywood Hills, with a pool and an amazing view. "I have a trampoline in my back garden and if I bounce on it, I can see the mountains. It's just beautiful," she smiles.

Her anonymity in L.A. means that for the first time since Geri joined the Spice Girls a decade ago, she's living the life of a normal girl - albeit one with a rumoured fortune of 19.6 million - hanging out with her girlie mates. "L.A. is very much a single girls' town, and we have a lot of fun." She rattles through a list of what fun involves; eating out, swimming at the beach, going to their favorite comedy store and dancing at a funny little club called Star Shoes.

After venturing into film last year with a role in the soon-to-be released Fat Slags (based on the Viz comic strip), Geri tells me she's been attending acting classes and recently go to the final two for the lead in a new US sitcom. In the end, she didn't get the part, but it gave her a new confidence. "It really affirmed I can act, I think they were suprised."

But despite Geri's new-found ease, her transformation from a vulernable bulimic, battling with low self-esteem is an ongoing process. One of the reasons she's much happier is the 12-step recovery meetings she attends in L.A. But, in a departure from past candidness, she won't go into details. "I can't talk about it," she says reasonably. "It's anonymous." What Geri will say is that it's a long time since she made herself sick. "I've moved on," she states evenly. What about the ultra-skinny, golden-skinned yoga devotee? "It was just a phase I went through, that I did some experimenting with"

Now, Geri no longer diets and shrugs off the guilt she felt about food. "For me, it's really important to eat enough. And I try to eat lovingly. Sometimes I eat junk food, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I eat healthy, sometimes I don't. But I don't let it make or break me. I try not to have my self-esteem wrapped into what my body looks like. At the moment, it's not bad. I'm grateful for it. It works, I can run, I can jump, I can play. And," she grins "my boobs are quite perky for their size, so it's alright."

I'd like to make something clear here: despite all the stories about her gaining weight, Geri is tiny. I'd say she has 'ballooned' from a size 8 to a petite size 10. So how does she cope with the headlines every time her weight spirals or plummets? She says she tries not to take it personally. She sees the media obsession with her weight as a reflection of all our anxieties about our bodies. Now she's trying to love herself whatever her shape. "Whether I'm as thin as a rake or round as a pudding, I have to walk in this body. I have to live in it, so may as well appreciate it. And my weight fluctuates, It just does. I'm pre-menstrual now, I'm wearing two bras and I've got a rounded tummy." She gently pats her tiny belly. "And I feel OK." So, is she finding men prefer women with curves? "When I was skinny, it was like a desert!" she hoots. "And the minute I got a few pounds on me, it changed. I'm quite shocked, actually with the kind of attention I recieve."

She's clearly relishing this new acction, but she's no longer looking for The One. "I've given up," she says, and she's even written a song about it. After a bit of encouragement from me and between giggles from both of us, she leans back in her chair and sings part of it, in the style of a Doris Day musical:"There was Peter, he was a cheater / Who couldn't keep his hands to himself / There was Ritchie, well he got bitchy / So I left him there on the shelf / And there was David, when he got naked / He didn't have much up or downstairs / So I give up on love / I don't give a fuck / What can I do? / Just when I've found the one/And I think love's begun/It's fallen through." When she's stopped laughing she says she's changed the names but the experiences are real and starts giggling when I say people are going to enjoy guessing who's who. "Any ex will be looking at it going, 'I hope that one's not me'," she says gleefully.

On the surface Geri does seem to have been in relationships with some unsuitable men. Recently, there was Damien Warner, a recovering addict she met while seeking treatment for her eating disorders. "I put my hands up. That was a mistake," she says with a throaty chuckle. "He was sweet but we weren't compatiable at all. Not a healthy choice!" Then there was actor Jerry O'Connell whome she met on the set of Fat Slags. They broke up soon after returning to L.A. He's since been quoted as saying he just saw her as a tour guide while he was in London, but Geri won't retaliate: "He was a great guy." So, what happened? "Err... not compatiable! Sometimes we have to try on wool before we get cashmere." I tell her that at least she's passed the polyester state. "I'm so far from that!" she says, "But it's really important to experience polyester."

Of course, now she's not looking for love, it's far easier to find. "I feel like something's changing with me. Like a light's gone on. It's amazing - I'm attracting better friendships and better guys. Because like attracts like. You go with what you're comfortable with."

Her ideal man has changed as she's matured. She still likes them good looking but now she wants a man who loves her for herself. "I've been out with guys where I felt I had to be a showpiece. There was a lot of dressing up and going out. And actually I'm a couch potato. I don't want to have to try all the time. I just want to be myself."

Last time Glamour spoke to Geri, back in November 2002, she joked if someone didn't father her baby soon, she'd go to a sperm bank. But she's let go of that too. "I'm going to have children at some point. But I want to enjoy this time as a young individual without any responsibility. I want to tour as a pop star, and then I think I'll be ready to settle down."

But for now, there are other priorities. Which is why, a few weeks ago Geri took her friend George Michael out to dinner and nervously popped a certain question, asking him to do something he hadn't done for a long time. "I asked him to perform live and headline a show to raise funds and awareness for Breast Cancer Care [the charity she serves as a patron alongside Cherie Blair]. When he said yes, I just threw my arms around him, I was so happy and grateful!" When age was 18, Geri found a lump in her breast. It was benin, but she has never forgotten the fear. One of the reasons she left the Spice Girls was because some of the others were reluctant to let her do a solo TV interview about her experience to educate women. Soon after, she thought of doing a fund-raising concert but the time wasn't right. It's only now she's realising the dream. Once George said yes, so did Ronan Keating and Jamelia. And Geri will, of course, be hosting the event, which she's named Girl's Night In, at London's Royal Albert Hall.

There will be no other Spice Girls on the bill, however, and she's puzzled by the rumours of a reunion. She's lost touch with all of them except for Victoria. "I don't see it in the near future. I like being in a team, but I've just mastered being a solo artist and commanding a stage. I don't want to share it." So, this is Geri at 32. Smarter, saner, more serene. But there's still that loud, lewd laugh which makes me suspect the artist formerly known as Ginger still has suprises left.

source: Geri France