Attitude (November 2004) Geri Halliwell is back to inject some much-needed personality back into an increasingly bland pop landscape. She spills all to Attitude about her figure, her faith, and the four other Spices. Oh yes, and her penchant for spanking dogs...
For Geri Halliwell, this somehow seems perfectly everyday (and talking of underwear, the rumours about her collecting men's pants is apparently unfounded. We asked). The whole scene at some crazy-ass medical supplies warehouse full of prosthetic limbs and hospital screens and autopsy tables, is like something out of a twisted Carry On film, complete with Geri's infectious power giggle, which shoots round the room at regular intervals. Until, that is, all of a sudden, just as the photographer is going in for one more seaside-postcard cheeky look, Geri says she's bored, and let's make this the last one. Outside in Geri's car ("Is that Geri Halliwell? the driver whispers to me: how could you be in any doubt with that voice in the car!), Geri is in civvies - a Playboy T-shirt, jeans, trainers, biggish hair, cheeky grin. With her roving documentary maker in the front seat, her PR guy in the back and Geri oblivious to all the attention with me in the middle, we start talking about the absolutely, hand-on-heart, brilliant new single, Ride It. "I co-wrote it with these two Swedish guys," she says naming no names. "They sent me the backing track and I wrote the filthy words." And they are a bit filthy, not the usual kid 'n' granny-friendly, "Life Me Up" and "Mi Chico Latino" fare we expect from Britain's chirpiest national treasure. That's because Geri's going through a particularly raunchy moment, which she puts down to her new body: she's come back from the skinny blonde boy-child look of a few years ago to the full-bodied, red-blooded Ginger we first fell in love with. And when those women's magazines say she's fat, don't believe a word. She is normal, even small. It's just that she has a woman's bum and boobs. In a totally good way. "I have to say I feel a much more sexual person being curvy," she says, sitting pertly on her sofa, fondling Harry the dog, back at her West London house: loads of floors, big rooms, pictures of everyone from Churchill to the Spice Girls and a cute, Manga-style self-portrait with love hearts hidden behind the sofa. On the bed-size coffee table in front of us, next to a book called Morality for Beautiful Girls, an assistant has placed two outsize mugs of builders' tea. Geri, slipping a magazine under our teas so as not to mark the table, elaborates on her new-found friskiness in between fielding calls from Kenny Goss - Mrs. George Michael, her best friend - and a gentlemen caller she goes very girly for. "It's very odd," she says, rubbing Harry's belly. "When I was very thin, I felt like sex was not on my radar. I was almost androgynous and my hormones weren't as alive and kicking. Then suddenly, I don't know if it's because I've hit 30, but I feel much more in touch with my sexuality, my female instinct."
What turning you on at the moment? Was that boy in his pants sexy? [Shakes head] I thought he was sexy in his demeanour and his eyes, I can find it attractive for a second if someone's good-looking, but for me it's got to be sexy on the inside too or I don't find it challenging. So who's sexy? That guy that just called me. Who is it? Not telling. Is it hard to meet guys? I think it's 50/50. Some men are quite intimidated by the baggage that comes with me. And quite rightly so, it's quite heavy-duty. I had four paparazzi sitting outside my house on Sunday morning, just waiting. For someone to come out? Have you ever been a slapper? I've never really gone for being a promiscuous person, no. I think I'm a sexual person - and sexual is a wonderful thing - but I'm not a promiscuous person. I think that's the difference between men and women. In my experience there's a lot more hormonal attachment and that's why one-night strands don't really word for me. So, is there a love life? Well, yeah. As far as my love life is concerned, first and foremost, I'm trying to have a relationship with myself and love myself first. That's so self-help! It's so self-help and so 'cringe' but it is true. What I've learned is to keep checking in with myself. It's almost like putting your own parachutes on first because I can't connect with anyone else unless I'm connecting with myself first. I know those sound like proper grown-up sentences but what does it actually mean? For example, suppose we're sitting together at dinner and supposing you decide you want to go out somewhere and I'm not sure and we do everything that you want to do. That's okay, but equally I have to check I'm feeling alright about it. Am I being dominated or losing my sense of self? In the past in relationships I'd lose a little bit of myself and feel a little swamped and then I'd freak out and not want to be close. Do you ever like being dominated? Of course! Absolutely, I love being dominated. I've never actually publicly talked about my personal life. I think my personal life should remain personal. It's hard enough anyway but it doesn't stand a fighting change if it's in the public domain. Unless I was absolutely certified, cemented, married to this person ... When you're in a relationship it's like planting a little seed in a bowl under a light-box - it needs a little bit of growing time before you expose it to the outside. No one ever quite knows what's going on with you do they? No, and I like it that way. Are you playing with us? Is it like, "Here's me on the back of Robbie's motorbike. Guess what's going to happen"? No, absolutely not! I don't play games with people or the press. You know when people play games in relationships and don't call back and all that? I don't do any of that and it's the same with the press. Being who I am, a public person, it's very east to lose my sense of self. Because I'm told one minute, "Ooh, you look great, Love that, don't like that ..." I'm like, "Oh my God!" The way I feel about it is, I am who I an in live, externally, it's just like creatures on earth: there are flamingos, there are hippos, there are lions and maybe I'm a little koala - that's how I see it. And a koala can never be a flamingo.
Well, you can: your hair went blonde and you went very thin. Yeah, but I was just expressing how I was feeling. I was just very controlling with my food and doing lots of exercise. It was completely authentic to who I was at the time. It's fantastic if people like the way you look but I just think some people like skinny and some people like curvy. I think as long as it's true to who you are and you're comfortable ... right now, this is where I'm at, This is the curviest I've ever been and it's that's sending a great message out, then fantastic. What was the lesbian moment you mentioned on The Howard Stern Show? God, he was really hard-core and really pushy, Yeah, it's true. Was it with Mel B? [Squeals] It's not something that I would ever divulge, even if it was with the queen of England. It was something that was very innocent and private and it will remain that way. It might sound really sexy and provocative to say it but it was just one of those experimental things. Are you a very experimental girl? Erm, within reason. You said you like being dominated. Does that ever extend to, "Crawl across the floor, bitch"? Erm ... erm ... no. You took ages to say no! I thought I'd visualize what you're talking about. It's like okay, what does he mean? OK ... erm ... Thing is, in certain ways ... no. I was having this conversation with this guy, a heterosexual man, and he said that the whole 'Girl Power' thing is detrimental to women. I said actually, it's a mistake if you think it means being and man and being and being aggressive. I've realised that having power is being a woman and being relaxed. I don't have to be aggressive to get what I want. It's more powerful to be loving. You used to be a bit wild back in the day, didn't you? In the early days, when I was going to raves. Were there drugs and everything? I would never share that information because that's not something I want to promote. It's not something that is in my life today and it doesn't have any interest for me. Is there anything in your past that you regret? There are a few personal things where I wish I'd behaved better and I could go back and say sorry. And I have said sorry for certain things. Sometimes I wish I'd experienced Wembley Stadium - that's an open regret. But I had to do what I had to do. You went to see Madonna, didn't you? And with the Madonna references in the song, you're obviously still a fan. I really, really respect her and I admire her, but I respect her in a different way. Do you look at her and thing, "I could be that"? I think Madonna brings something to the party completely different from me. It's like comparing Damien Hirst to Michelangelo. I think competition is for horses and dogs.
Is that a reference to walking out on the Spice Girls? Yeah ... if there's still something more to say or something more to feel ... but we all grow and we all move on. And do you give a monkey's about the reaction to what you do? Absolutely! On one hand I'm trying to serve myself as an artist but then equally there are songs like Ride It that are serving the public. I'm trying to be of service. I'm trying to be Prozac for the nation. That's exactly what that song is meant to be: it's meant to be a glass of Pomagne. It's meant to lift you, it's not meant to challenge you mentally. Loving the fact that you can still remember what Pomagne is! The first time I ever got drunk was on Pomagne. I drank it when I was 14 'cause it just tasted like lemonade. Do you ever wish you could turn back the clock and un-fame yourself? I wouldn't change it really. I think if I was to come back in another life, I probably wouldn't do it again. Once you've done it, you've done it. I've got a little bit more to do, but in a bit I would un-fame myself if I could. But sometimes it's really handy being famous. Like what? You can get a table even in Botswana? My friend wanted a Tampax and she couldn't find one and because I was famous, this woman went back to her house in the middle of nowhere to get her one. And I can always get a great table at The Ivy. But I have mastered cooking roast chicken! You have to turn it on it's breast and then it's more juicy. I can make homemade muesli but I'm not cooking that anymore. Are you still a healthy eater? Yeah, in a way. It's a relief and it's quite frightening at the same time. I've always thought if I do X and Y I'm going to get Z. Which is nonsense. And it's taken awhile to get to that place. You know, just go, "Ppfff, whatever." It's an illusion to think I've got that power, to make things happen. I've kind of looked for a different kind of fitness, more of a spiritual fitness. I try to meditate for doing things, whether they're good ones or bad ones. It's just much more trying to be brutally honest with myself the whole time. Sometimes I got into fear... What about? Most things. Like not being successful enough; just the usual human fears of love and being alive. But how they've changed for me is that I can put a better perspective on things as I've got older. I'll tell you what's changed for me: my self-esteem is not tied up with whether I have a hit or not. Of course I'd love the single to be the biggest success, ever, ever, ever, but I know I won't die and my self-esteem hit the floor if it isn't. A lot of people are what they do, particularly males where a lot of their self-esteem comes from what job they do and what money they earn. I don't what to be a slave to any of those kind of things any more.
Leaving the Spice Girls must have been scary to leave the biggest thing in the world? Yeah. See ya! Do you get on with them really well now or is just a little "Hi"? It's a "Hello". The only one I would really say I speak to is Victoria. It's kind of like one of those old school chum things. I have the utmost gratitude for each individual one and a huge sentimentality for each one for different reasons; one for being a comrade, one for being as ballsy as I was... I know I wouldn't have had that experience without them and I'm ever so grateful for that. But you outgrow things. What about George Michael? Is he still your best friend? I'm very much good friends with Kenny. Did you meet him through George? Yeah, George for me is like a kind of older cousin that I really effing respect. That man has been so generous to me in so many ways. I can't tell you. With the Breast Cancer concert, when I was trying to put the line-up together myself it was so hard; it's so hard to get that first yes. The person you're close to is the last person you want to ask but I went to ask George and he said yes. It was like the man from Del Monte moment - I threw my arms around him. [Breaks off to shout downstairs to her assistant] Remind me to phone Lionel Richie after this, won't you? As a gay man, did you learn anything off him? He's taught me heaps. He's taught me about the attitude of gay men. I wouldn't want to give away anything that he's told me because it's private, but like about sexual things. I'm not going to say what George told me because I'd never betray that but I do know... All about two cocks up one arse? [Screams with laughter] I've no idea what you're talking about! But it's just opened my eyes, I'm a much more liberal non-judgmental person. [She starts playing with Harry] I love the way he just allows himself to be manhandled like that. He's completely surrendered, look. Are owners like their dogs? Yeah, I'm very much like him. OK, I'll describe Harry. Harry is very loving, very affectionate, a little bit spoilt, and he can be quite demanding. Actually, I think he might be gay. He always tens to flirt with male dogs. We do reflect each other's mood actually. Sometimes if I'm a bit nervous, he's a bit all over the place. Have you ever had occasion to spank him? Yeah! If he does poo poos behind the sofa I rub his nose in it. Sometimes I think he does it out of... like one of my ex-boyfriends, when he used to stay over, he used to do a big poo in the bedroom.
Is that right that you did the Alpha course? I did yeah, I found it really, really interesting. Isn't it a bit anti-gay? I don't want to judge or comment on their stuff, but I take what I want and leave the rest behind. Basically, if you have any interest in any kind of faith and want to explore it, you just go and ask questions, I have no judgment on anyone's sexuality. [The phone rings and she goes a bit girly] So is that 'the one'? Oh no, that's Kenny, Kenny is just adorable. He's seen me and my worst and at my best. And what about the rumour that you and Kenny, and George had a threesome? [Laughs] Wouldn't you just like to think that? Was that just a wild and crazy rumour that has no basis in reality? A rumour's a rumour, there you go. You either believe it or it's just a question of faith. Are you still good friends with Robbie? I haven't seen Rob in ages. I have a lot of fond memories of him and I have a lot of identification with him; we share a lot in common... Yeah, you're both crazy as bedbugs. Oh, well there you go! I like that expression, but the way. Crazy as bedbugs. So are you worried about Robbie's book coming out? Is he not going to shred your ass? So you know what, I recently fired someone as they refused to sign a confidentiality agreement and they've seen a lot of, whatever, and I just thought, you know what? What the hell can you say? Not that I think that Rob would say anything bad but, what can you say? There's nothing really. I don't feel like I have anything to be ashamed of, I'm just a nice ordinary girl from Watford who got lucky! Do you ever feel like that is the truth? No, I don't think it's to do with luck, absolutely not. I think you've got to take action. This is where my faith kicks in. I think there is something bigger than myself. I absolutely believe , even the Koran says it, you've got to row your own boat, you've got to tie your camel, you've got to put in the energy, you've got to knock on the door and let's see if it opens. You can't just sit there; it's just not going to happen. And then after that it's whether you're in sync with the rhythm of life. source: Geri France  |
"Can
you see my knickers?" shrieks Geri Halliwell, above the commotion of Attitude's
latest and certainly campest cover shoot of the year. She's lying on a hospital
bed in a sexy nurse's uniform, legs akimbo, her business ends on full view to
the world while being attended to by a hot model in his underwear. 
So
are you walking around the house in lingerie at all times, now you're feeling
raunchy? No! I get my moments when I go, "Ew, God!"
Hormones can make you feel equally disgusting you know. 
But
you've looked so different over the years. I
know, and I can't help that. 
What
do you bring to the party? I think I bring a lot of
spirit, a lot of humility and humanity to my performing and my songs. I feel like
I've been on a massive journey. Two and a half years ago I felt like I was ready
to quit. I felt like I'd given so much. I felt spiritually bankrupt from it. I
always quit things when I don't feel authentic to them, if I'm not enjoying it,
if I'm not feeling it. 
Don't
you ever think you've got enough money so whatever happens doesn't matter?
Oh yeah, I constantly say that. I constantly say, "No one
is making you do this: you're in a very privileged position. As long as you don't
buy a Ferrari every day you're alright. I always want to be in a place where I
don't have to do it. That was always my dream. It was never handed to me on a
plate. I worked for freedom basically.
The
ex-boyfriend! Not the boyfriend! Harry,
He was jealous. He does impressions, look... [Geri starts to mangle Harry's
ears like Puppetry of the Penis] a seal, a rabbit... He
does tricks too, but only for 10,000 pounds.